Say No…So You Can Say Yes
No.
This teeny tiny little two letter word has become such a good friend and companion. For most of my life I have been scared of this word and avoided it at all costs. It’s such a small word and yet it holds so much power.
I used to be afraid to use it, and to hear it. It conjured up so many uncomfortable emotions within me. As women, we live in a society and culture where we are expected and conditioned to be nice and to please and to be agreeable. I followed this prescriptively for a long time, for too long.
When I was at the receiving end of a ‘no’, I felt rejection, disappointment, resentment, anger, or any other number of emotions. I took that ‘no’ very personally. And using this little word….well that was a whole other story. There was such fear associated with using the word ‘no’. The thoughts of using it evoked such full-bodied emotion that sometimes I froze and completely shut down.
Until I came to a new understanding of the word.
Such a small simple little word, yet it carries such power and energy and possibility. The power to actually choose and sculpt and create the life we were born to live. The power to end the self-betrayal that is so commonplace in our culture.
‘No’ has empowered me. ‘No’ has allowed me to reclaim who I am at my very core. It has allowed me to simplify my life down to a much purer form, towards the essence of who I am.
It’s certainly a process, an unlearning, a practice, to begin to use this word because it’s something many of us are not used to doing. The more I use it, the more ease with which I can hear it from others too. When I hear ‘no’ from others now, I see someone with self-respect, I see a person upholding strong boundaries, I see that person’s power, and I see their integrity.
‘No’ has been, and continues to be the making of me….perhaps it’s the making of every one of us.
How can you start practicing saying no so you can start saying yes to you, and the life you’re here to live?